It's been a while since I last posted. Chemo is coming along...only 4 more left! PET CT tomorrow morning. Hopefully the cancer will be almost gone (or gone altogether!).
This past week, I have spent some time doing some self-evaluation. I realized that while I lived in New Jersey, I became withdrawn and lost a lot of myself. I don't want to go into blame or reasons, but I have done my best to get my old self back. I am in another relationship...scary since I just left a not so good one, but I'm surprisingly happy and not feeling hesitant about my decision to pursue this relationship. We have picked up where we left off when we dated before and he has done nothing but bring patience and support since. Other than that, I've just done my best to stay active and pick up old hobbies in hopes that I'll be back to my old self soon.
I am so ready for this cancer crap to be over with. It has been a long road so far and I'm trying to stay positive and keep my head up. I am starting to break down though and am becoming more sensitive the closer I am to the end. Maybe it is because I am scared that I might have to take chemo longer and the cancer isn't gone. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through and I don't know where my strength is coming from. I need some good news on Thursday...I think I will break down if I don't.
